Phobia

Last night my husband's stomache was kinda upset. And I was really worried because I know once he is not feeling good or have stomache upset, he is going to pass out. I kept my eye on him, I didn't go to sleep even if its already almost 3am besides I couldn't sleep anyway. I told him that I'll call police if he will pass out but he didnt want me too. He just want wet wash rug on his forehead.
Im sure dont know what to do, coz last December he passed out coz his stomache was upset too. But im sure glad he didn't pass out last night. Im just having phobia. I dont wanna see him pass out anymore coz there is nobody here could help me. And he dont want me to call anybody.

Kinda Disappointed

My husband called my ENT's office to have an appointment for my surgery but her secretary told him that this ENT is not the one who will perform the surgery. The doctors in Spokane will do it. Im kinda disapointed because I feel comfortable with my ENT specialist. Plus I want to talk to him before I will undergo with this surgery to make me feel comfortable about it coz he has been good to me. And also he told me that he will be there on my surgery so, what did he mean? Im really confuse.
We are now waiting for the secretary to call us regarding the schedule for this surgery coz we just let her make the appointment to the Dr. in Spokane.

Ear condition

Since I got this condition in my ear, I have been reading alot about it.. And just the other day I have found a website for those who have this kind of condition.. I have been reading alot of all kinds of different stories and it is just so devastating. It's very very hard situation because even after the surgery it can reoccur and most of the stories that I have read, that the Cholesteatoma reoccured and seems like they have endless surgery.... Some people say they just don't think about this C-toma because its a part of thier life. It just really melts my heart. And im also scared because I dont know about my case.. I just hope and pray that after surgery, this cyst will not reoccur..
Hopefully soon ill have my surgery done, before we go to Alaska.. Right now im feeling so much pressure in my left ear, nose, and head.. And my head is kinda achy. And as usual, im dizzy and having hard time to balance feels like im gonna fall down..
Here is the website of the people who share thier experiences of battling this desease. Maybe you could learn from this and be aware. And if you have symptoms you need to see ENT right away.. The sooner the better... www.cholesteatoma.net

Hi friends,,

Well.. I guess ill just go back to my online diary. I have been so much busy here in the US. There is alot of things that needs to be adjust. Also im still not feeling so well.. Just 2 weeks ago my health care provider did some blood test and the result is just normal. What in the world is the matter with me? I feel so light headed, tired, sleepy, tonsils and nose are little bit inflammed, they look really red, i have earache sometimes.. and plus, my brain wouldn't rest in night time for it will dream every single night!! Im sooo tired of it.. Last week I took Melatonin hoping that it will help relax my brain while I am sleeping but still not helping. I used it everynight for 3 nights.. So I quit it for it not helping.
Anways, my health care provider told me that Im just stress. Then the inflammed nose are just allergy, also regarding the tonsils are just normal for they have to be soft just like mine right now. But Im still not satisfied of what she told me. I know Im achy, but why no doctor can tell me what's wrong? Also my ENT just said that they are little bit inflammed but he dont see no infection.. Gggggrrrr.....im so tired of going to the doctors oi!!! because its not helping any plus they are sooo expensive.. Since I got here i have been to the doctor around 5 or 6 times.. im tired of it.. But I understand that I have Cholesteatoma which needs to be removed.. Oh God!! But that is not my main concern right now.. I want to go back to normal first. I want to be able to sleep at night with no dreams, my tiredness, sleepiness and being light headed will go away first before I'll proceed to ear surgery. Im soo tired of telling my husband that I feel this and that.. Sometimes he just dont believe me for its too much... But im not loosing hope, I'll keep taking this herbs which I think that might can help all this achy feelings.. But of course pray everynight and morning too.